


Fade to Black, Fade to White

by Drih_Hawkeye (KyraSpring)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-10-27 19:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyraSpring/pseuds/Drih_Hawkeye
Summary: One final rescue. One final chance to reunite, only to say goodbye again. As Sora looked for his most important missing piece, he also searched for a way to let go. Major spoilers from Kingdom Hearts 3, especially the final chapters (not including the secret ending).





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, after years and years, I'm back to the Kingdom Hearts fandom. This game ruined my emotions and I loved every second of it. I apologize in advance for any grammar and spelling mistakes, English is not my first language and writing this story is being a very special challenge for me. Criticism is valid and welcome. I truly hope you like it! Thanks for reading <3

“ _There is no saving you.”_

The words echoed in Sora’s mind, going back and forth. He heard that same line an alarming number of times before – when he jumped into the deepest darkness, the deepest trap, looking for… something. Memories? Illusions? Shaped like his friends, to deceive him? Or… to guide him towards his true mission? He was warned that, should he go too far, he might not be able to come back. That darkness would consume him, trap him into eternal slumber.

And still… he jumped. And came back, apparently unharmed, after all.

But now, those words came back. And this time, they sounded even more dangerous. Being locked for eternity in a sleeping pocket of reality was terrible, yes, but it opened the tiny but real possibility of being rescued. His friends were stubborn and reckless and awesome and they would save him, like they did. If there was a chance, they would take it. He knew them. He’d do the same.

But… how would they be able to save him from death itself?

He flirted with his own demise far more times than he should. To the point of losing his own body, staying at the verge of all worlds, so close to simply disappearing. But nothing about his life was usual, and somehow he ended in that place in the most unusual way possible, so unusual that he actually had a chance to put himself together and go back. He needed to, his friends all counted on it. He lost them all once, he would be damned if he died before them without a chance to protect them. He’d see that battle through.

...until she was taken from him.

Xehanort and all his vessels were cunning. They hit where it would hurt more. Thinking about it, it was a bit of Sora’s fault, after all saying how his friends were his power was the easiest way to show to the world his biggest weakness. But they went too far, toying with his feelings, with his beliefs like they were nothing. Treating him like just one of their puppets. The final strike was simply too much. Kairi, thrown in a battle she didn’t ask for, still decided to fight by their side. She promised to save him, but that wasn’t right, she didn’t have to, she  _shouldn’t_ have to!

And now she was gone. 

Looking for her was not a hard decision at all. And deciding to look for her alone wasn’t, either. After all was said and done, after their enemy was defeated, that mission was his to complete. He still remembered the taste of the paopu fruit they shared the day before – less sweet than he expected, a sour but refreshing note, a chewy and juicy texture. That was their bond, and their destinies intertwined, as the legends said. Refreshing and bittersweet.

But he wasn’t ready. And, as he prepared to embark in that last journey, he kept reading those words in his head.  _“There is no saving you”_ . What did they mean? Wasn’t he there, as safe and sound as possible even after facing the most dangerous threat of them all? Haven’t he returned unscathed from the brink of death itself, having his own body disintegrated and recovered? Didn’t he go through all of this and still lived to tell his tale? But Sora didn’t have any reasons to doubt Xehanort’s words. Surprisingly enough, he lied far less than he could ever expect. He could assume those words as true. But… how?

But he still crossed that gate. Those concerns would have to wait, saving Kairi was the priority. She was  _always_ his priority, the memory of her smile kept him going for the longest time. He was so close to finally have peace by her side… when all that struggle was over, he had so much to tell her, so much to show her! He could barely wait. Finding her would be difficult, yes, but what  _hasn’t_ been difficult before? It was only one more mission. One he would finish, for sure.

But the place he found beyond that gate was dark. Empty. Eerie. Silent.

Sora looked around, trying to find anything familiar. He had been there a couple times before, places of weirdness and wonder between the worlds and beyond them, places built for himself, and for others, with stories told by strange voices and stained glass. But here… nothing. Only the vast emptiness around him and the ground under his feet, smooth like a giant board of glass. With nothing else to do, he started walking aimlessly, knowing that somehow, he would end up in the exact place he needed to be. Such were the rules of that place. He walked ahead, silent, his mind lost in hazy thoughts and memories, Xehanort’s words still jumping back and forth through them. He felt they were true, but… how? And why?

And, sooner than expected, he reached the place he was looking for. Or, at least, he reached  _a_ place. A huge platform of glass, surrounded by floating white luminous doors. The ground was blank, instead of the stained glass he expected to find there were only transparent amorphous glass pieces, forming no image, showing nothing. Sora kept walking, slowly, paying close attention to his surroundings and bracing himself for any possible threats. He couldn’t afford being attacked by surprise, he couldn’t afford wasting time.

And, as he reached the center of the glass platform, a well-known voice was heard.

_“So we meet again, Sora. It’s been a while.”_

The voice, both unknown and very familiar, seemed to sound right inside Sora’s mind. He looked around, startled at first, and intrigued at second, trying to find its source to no avail. But he knew that already. That voice, whatever it was, guided him through those very same eerie halls several times. Come to think of it, it was good to hear it again. Some guidance at that moment would be really welcome.

“You know why I’m here, right?”, he asked the voice out loud. “There is someone I need to find, someone who went missing and didn’t deserve it. I need to find her. Will you help me?”

“Tell me, Sora”, the voice didn’t answer his request directly, and instead asked in an enigmatic tone. “How do you feel? After all you went through, how do you feel?”

_“How do I feel…?”_ , he was taken by confusion for a second. Sure, he was very tired, he just had the most violent fight of his whole life just a short while ago. But other than that he was fine, right? And that voice knew it, it knew him way too well to not know the answer to that question already. Almost by instinct, he placed his hand on his chest, feeling his own heartbeats, the warmth from his own skin. He was alright. He was… alive.

_Alive._ Suddenly, that question made sense. His trip to the Final World made him question it. Was he really alive, without a concrete body? How long would he be able to keep his own form, had he not found all the necessary pieces in time? And what would have happened if he didn’t? The others wouldn’t be rescued, and all hope would be lost forever. And he would be conscious of it, blaming himself for it for all eternity. A nightmare of a nightmare.

“You’re here to find your most important missing piece, aren’t you?”, the voice continued. Of course. Kairi was his missing piece, and no victory would be complete if she wasn’t back home safe and sound to celebrate with him. That would explain at least part of the uneasiness he felt. Part, but not all. He knew what fear felt like, what loneliness felt like, what missing an important person felt like. But while Kairi was, indeed, the most important missing piece… she wasn’t the only one.

“What do I have to do to bring her back? She can still be saved, right? She’s not...”, he couldn’t finish that line. The very thought of her being dead was too terrifying for him to process. 

“Yes, she can.”, the voice answered, sounding suddenly… sad? It was different from its usual serious monotony. “It will be hard but you’re now strong enough to do it. And, dare I say, you are probably the only one capable of doing it. But...”

Silence. It felt heavy and bitter in the air, but Sora didn’t dare to break it with questions, and instead let the voice continue.

“...but can  _you_ be saved?”

Xehanort’s words echoed again. Sora’s mouth felt dry, the air felt cold and even heavier than before. Saved from what? What was supposed to happen?

“I… don’t understand”, he finally whispered after what felt like an eternity. 

“The power of waking is a dangerous gift. Even the most skilled ones can be destroyed by it. In order to use it, you need to put your every essence into it, your very own heart whole. And with time… it might become too much.”

Another of Xehanort’s warnings. Use the power of waking, get lost in the waves of slumber and darkness, never to find your way back up. He knew that already, but he always returned. Somehow, he always made it. Why would it be different now? Why wouldn’t he…

...why would he need to be saved, though? And not the other way around?

“You feel it, don’t you?”, once again the voice called him from his own thoughts. “You feel exhausted. Being torn apart and put back together, time and time again, using way too much strength to bring back from sleep worlds and hearts. It’s too much for you, isn’t it?”

“N-no, it isn’t! See, I’m fine!”, the young man’s voice faltered, as he summoned his Keyblade in a silly display of strength and energy. “I can fight, and I’ll be able to go back home as many times as necessary!”

More silence. It was starting to get infuriating.

“You’ve been quite the unusual child since the beginning, Sora. A heart that shelters, a heart that heals… You saved so many, touched many more. But the burden it put on you along the years was far too heavy for anyone to handle. You might not have felt it, or chose to ignore it, but slowly, it wears you down. And now what keeps you together is a very thin lining, delicate as a cloud. A lining that will tear apart, sooner or later.”

A fragile lining. Soon to be torn apart.

So this is what Xehanort referred to. 

Sora clutched his chest. Of course he knew. Carrying around Ventus, Roxas and Xion took a toll on him. He didn’t mind, none of them asked for it and if he could help them heal and recover, he’d do it gladly no matter what. But he felt it. Their fear, their pain… their hope. It hurt, just as much as his own. But they didn’t ask to be there, they didn’t ask to suffer like that. They deserved a chance, and if he could give them one, he would without giving it a second thought. 

...did they… really hurt him that much?

And was the power of waking so destructive? But if it was, what was he supposed to do, then? Just stop using it altogether? But if it was his only chance to save everybody, how could he simply not use it? His mind stated going blank. Why did that voice decide to say that now, of all times? When all was said and done… wouldn’t he at least have the right to enjoy the peace he fought so hard to keep?

“So what should I do?”, he was finally able to speak, and to his own surprise, his voice sounded angry. “Should I simply go back, then? Should I go forward? Will any of this even matter at all?” It was kind of a relief that the first feeling he recognized was frustration, followed by anger. It was better than sadness, and allowed him to act and do something about it. Once again, the voice didn’t answer immediately, as if it was choosing its words too carefully.

“You have a choice, Keyblade wielder. You can go forward, and rescue your missing part, or you can go back to your own world.” It sounded grave and imposing, almost like a sentence. “You will only have one chance to choose. If you go back, you’ll be able to endure a while longer, spending your remaining time surrounded by your friends. If you don’t...”

“Wait,  _remaining time?_ ”. For the first time, Sora interrupted the voice. “What does it mean?”

“Even if you don’t use the power of waking anymore, even if you never fight anymore at all, the damage it has done to your structure is far too great to heal. It’s a matter of time until the final strands break. So, if you prefer, you might spend the time you have left with the ones dear to you.”

The air vanished from Sora’s lungs. It was too much. Too much, and too heavy, and too scary to bear. He could feel his legs getting weak, the weight of the realization falling on his shoulders. It wasn’t the first time in that day that he fell on his knees. But even that moment seemed so distant now. What they had in common was the fact that in both, he lost everything.

No. Not yet. 

“And… what is… my other option?” He could barely hear his own voice. Even his thoughts came to a halt, and only the most basic systems still worked, in a desperate attempt to process the situation.

“You can attempt to rescue the young woman who is now lost, and bring her back. But it will be a difficult journey, and the price you’ll have to pay will be high. And still, you have no guarantees that you’ll be successful.”

“So… those are my options”. Still on his knees, the eyes stuck in the strange shapes of the glass pieces under his body, Sora’s mind started working again, slowly. “If I go back, I’ll be dead in a while anyway. If I try to rescue Kairi, there’s no way to tell if I’ll be able to do this or not. Either way, I’m done. But only I can save her, so going back and ask for help won’t work. That means… I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

And the, he realized something. He  _never_ had much of a choice. Every step that brought him to that moment, to that place was a decision by someone else. Borrowed powers, borrowed memories, borrowed destinies. Except for that one moment. He could say he  _had_ a choice, but after sacrificing so much, what else was he expected to do? Sacrificing even more?

But… sacrifice  _what_ ? It wasn’t like he had anything else to be saved, except for her. Sure, he’d love to see his friends one last time, say his goodbyes, but suddenly it looked so petty and pointless compared to taking his chance at saving his dearest person that he even felt a bit ashamed to consider it. So, it was a choice but it actually wasn’t. Just like everything else.

“Kairi is… beyond one of these doors?” He didn’t raise his eyes, and kept looking at the glass floor as he forced himself to stand. “Which one? And… how much time do I have to find her before it… before I go?”

“You will be granted seven jumps, one for each door. This is as far as your strength can take you. For each of them, you’ll have to unlock one of these doors and, inside them, you’ll find the clues you need to find the one you seek. Use your time and your energy wisely, you’ll need for the challenge in front of you.”

“ _Challenge..._ ”, he almost laughed to himself, taken by a sort of bitterness that didn’t belong to him. “What challenge? Hard to be too careful now that I know it doesn’t really matter, right? All I gotta do is just keep the head above the water until I find her. And then...”

“Sora.” The voice interrupted his thoughts. “You have fear and disbelief in your heart. You fear the unknown, but deep inside it doesn’t sound real to you. During this journey, you’ll have to learn to accept it in your heart and let go of your regrets. Only then, you’ll be ready to do what it takes to bring her back. It is a heavy burden indeed, but one only you can carry.”

“I know… I know.” Sora doubted his own words, and at that moment, all he wanted to do was to focus on the task ahead. He was in no condition to think deeply about what was going to happen, and being on the verge of a mental breakdown would only delay him even more. “Just… tell me where to go. I’m ready. I… choose to save Kairi.”

“Very well.” He heard the sound of heavy objects hitting the ground. The doors were lowered. “You know what to do now. Your heart will keep you in the right track, as long as you allow it to do so. Let it guide you to the one you seek… and to the peace you need.”

Silence. The voice didn’t speak anymore. Sora found himself alone at the center of the platform, the light coming from the doors almost too strong to bear. He felt lonely, but also really exposed, like a lone actor in front of a hostile audience. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to be angry, but his mind was painfully numb. It didn’t feel real. It just…  _didn’t_ . And now he was supposed to accept it so easily? Without fighting back? But what good would fighting back bring? His mind was a mess, his thoughts everywhere. How was he supposed to seek any kind of peace?

“Whatever.” And then, he took a deep breath. “This won’t take me anywhere. I need clues to find Kairi, and if this is all decided for me anyway, I have no reason to keep fretting over it. Just… let’s get over with this.”

And Sora walked to the first door, pointing his Keyblade to it, and unlocking it. As soon as he did it, he felt a sharp sting in his chest, like a needle poking right inside his heart. Even when he finished unlocking the door, the pain remained, and it took him a while to recover. “Does that… have anything to do with what that voice said? About the jumps and using this power?”.

But Sora didn’t dwell on that question for too long. The first jump was ahead of him. And, trying to shove his fears and worries to the deepest corner of his mind, he opened the door and went in.


	2. Jump#1: Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first jump, a well known sight, and a question about choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm terribly sorry for taking so long. The first draft of this chapter was lost when my computer decided to die on me (now I'm writing on Google Drive so it won't happen again). Second, it's been difficult to write for other reasons. I'm having a lot of feelings to pour on it, a lot of them not exactly good, haha :"D Still, it's good to be back. I'll do my best to update more regularly. Thanks a lot for the incredibly sweet reviews, and I hope you like this chapter too. See ya!

The first thing Sora noticed when he crossed the door was light. Blinding, warm light.

It took him a while to get used to it, and to be able to open his eyes properly. But as soon as he did it, he recognized that place. A warm, salty breeze hit his face, he could hear the gentle sound of the waves, and the endless blue sky illuminated by the morning sun greeted him. Under his feet, fine, delicate sand.

Destiny Islands. He couldn’t tell if it was a nice surprise or an insult. Either way, it felt fitting enough.

He took his shoes off, burying his bare feet in the sand. Was it real? Were those the actual Destiny Islands, or simply some sort of projection from dreams, memories or whatever? For a very short instant, he decided it didn’t matter, and instead he just enjoyed the peace and silence. After being in the dark for so long, the sunlight was a welcome change.

Sora looked around, after a while. He was alone, as expected. Walking around the island, he started feeling something odd about it. It felt… still, frozen in time. It made sense, it was probably not the real island anyway, but it was still a bit unnerving. So, if it wasn’t the real island, what was it? And more important, what was he supposed to find there to help saving Kairi?

And even if it wasn’t real… it was still beautiful.

He stopped in front of the bridge to the smaller island where the paopu tree was. Still there. It felt like ages ago… the taste of the fruit, the texture… the touch of Kairi’s hand on his when they shared it… he could almost feel all of them, all over again. Suddenly, he felt himself blushing, as he realized what that truly meant. It was almost like… 

...like a kiss.

A  _ farewell _ kiss.

They were all saying their goodbyes at that moment, in a way or another. It was, after all, a battle of life or death, with the cards all stacked against them. Each one of them decided to spend those last hours in a way they saw more fitting. No one wanted to leave with any regrets - but, as Sora was realizing, it was damn nearly impossible. There would  _ always _ be a regret. Always a ‘what if’. Always a ‘this should have been different’. For a second, he wondered how would the others react, if they were in his place.

“Riku would probably try and take it like a champ”, he answered to himself. A good thing of being alone was that he could simply think out loud. “He would bottle everything up and just kind of explode. Lea would… be a clown, as usual. Make a joke out of the whole thing. Yeah, that sounds like him. Roxas would be mad, I think, but he would get stuff done. He always does. I guess Aqua would be sad, but would try to make most out of the situation, enjoying what she had. I mean… she already went through so much.”

Thinking about the others made him smile, sadly. And he was happy they didn’t have to face what he was facing at that moment. They all went through a lot, and deserved some peace for a change. He had it easy, in a sense. Always surrounded by good people, with great friends by his side, with a  _ purpose _ and a  _ mission _ and a  _ reason _ … it was more than the others had.

“Sora? Why do you look so sad?”

That voice pulled him from his daydreaming violently. It couldn’t be! It was her voice, of course it was. He frantically started to look around, trying to find her to no avail. It made no sense, her voice seemed so close, so… where was she?

And then Sora remembered. Those weren’t the real Destiny Islands. And that was not the real Kairi. But, whoever or whatever she was, it was the first actual clue he had in that place. It was part of that trial. Trying not to sound too disappointed, he answered after a second.

“I… don’t know what to do. I must save Kairi… save  _ you _ .” He wasn’t sure whether he should treat that voice as Kairi or as something else. “But how? How being here would help? What do they want me to find?”

“Maybe they want you to remember”, she answered. Sora noticed her voice sounded a little childish, like he was hearing a younger Kairi speaking. “Remember how it all began? When, and where it all began?”

_ Where _ was easy. That was the place, of course. As for  _ how _ and  _ when _ , it was debatable. Was it one of those fateful encounters he had as a child, almost too young to remember? Or was it when he was forced to leave the Islands as they were getting destroyed? Or both?

“Where did it go wrong, Kairi?”, he asked. Knowing when the story started was important, but knowing where it started going south was too. “I mean… weren’t we doing everything right? Fighting for what’s right and trying to protect the world? Where did we go wrong?”

“You should answer my question first, silly”, her voice sounded cheerful, almost insensitive, despite everything. “Don’t you think you should know where the story starts before you think about how it ends?”

“Are you serious now?”. That was the moment when Sora was sure he wasn’t talking to the real Kairi. Still, her question had a reason, and if he wanted to find the clue in that place, he’d have to keep that conversation going. “Well… I think a story, any story, starts when the hero does something. When he leaves his homeland, or when he has to make a choice. Before that, it’s only a prologue, actions from others that set the path the hero will trail. Or… other stories, with other heroes, in a big, shared universe.”

“So you’re the hero of this story. And I’m the hero of mine, even though I’m the one who needs saving right now. Is that right?”

“I guess so. I mean… you had your own path before we met again, right? You traveled to places, made friends, trained… made choices, fought enemies.”

“But, if you save me, doesn’t that mean you’re the hero of my story?”

“I… don’t think so.” That line of thought puzzled Sora. “It’s still you. I’m part of your story, but you’re the hero. Just like you’re part of mine but I’m still the hero. It’s not a matter of who saves who. The others help us, they fight by our side and protect us, but… they’re heroes in their own tales.”

“I wonder how my tale would go”, Kairi’s voice sounded distant. “Choosing to protect my most precious part until the end, no matter the cost. I would do anything to save you. And I wish you didn’t come after me, because it means you’ll trade yourself for me once again. Why?”

“Are you  _ really _ asking me that?”, Sora had to laugh. “It was always you.  _ Always _ . I wouldn’t have it any other way. It started because of you. And if it has to end because of you… so be it.”

He immediately regretted those words. It sounded like he was blaming her for his misery. He would never blame her, or anyone else. It was always her, but it was also always his choice. He chose to fight for her, to sacrifice everything for her.

...or was it?

His doubts came back with full force. Once again, he wondered how much of that story happened by his choice and how much happened by mere fate. Obviously, he wouldn’t let her get hurt or lost, or anyone else for that matter. But… was it a choice, then? Or was it something expected from him and he just accepted it and went with the flow for all his life?

“Is having a choice this important to you?”, Kairi’s voice asked, with an inquisitive tone. “Being free to choose your path when most of it has been decided for you before you even came to be… why do you care? Especially now?”

Now that was a question Sora didn’t have an answer to. He never really stopped to think about it. Going with the flow was his  _ modus operandi _ , and for almost all those years, it worked fine for him. But now, when it was only him and his thoughts and memories and choices and judgement… it mattered. And he realized it  _ always _ mattered.

“You feel like you didn’t choose any of this. You didn’t choose to be a hero, and you didn’t choose to let your power destroy you, and you didn’t choose to save those people. You feel like it was all determined for you since the beginning, a fate you accepted. It’s fun… heroes often don’t see themselves as such, and they don’t see themselves as the ones who chose that path for them.”

“But… I didn’t choose”. Sora was confused. He summoned his Keyblade, studying it for a long time. He carried it for so long, but it was still as shiny and beautiful as the night he first saw it, back at Traverse Town. “I was told I had a mission, and I did it. Close the Keyholes, fight bad guys, destroy Heartless… save you. I just had to do it.”

“You could have said ‘no’. Turned around and let someone else do it.”

“Who? There weren’t many people with Keyblades available back then. Even now, there were like ten of us and we still could barely win this fight.”

“There was Riku.”

“I needed to find him first. And… well… you know how things went down.”

“But what if it wasn’t like that? What if, with you renouncing the Keyblade, he became the wielder and fought this battle in your place?”

“It almost sounds like you wanted it.”

“Me? Nah.” She chuckled. “I have no feelings for this matter whatsoever. You know by now, right? That I’m not her. So, whatever her feelings about it are, I don’t share them. All I am are memories and stories and questions.”

“Yeah, I figured that part out. Guess I’m not as dumb as I seem, right?”, he smiled, bitterly. “Still… It could have been like you said. I could have stepped down, Riku wouldn’t have any reasons to follow Maleficent, some of the others would probably have found him… he’d save the day, we’d be back in the Islands and live happily ever after.”

That would be good, he thought. Not having that weight on his shoulders would be nice. Maybe he could even play the sidekick, fighting with Riku but not calling the shots, helping but not taking the charge. Yes, it would be nice. But…

“...but I have no means to know it would play out like that, do I?”, he said, looking at the sky. “It probably wouldn't. Too many dark forces playing this same game. So… choosing not to take the lead would be too dangerous.”

“Is that so?” The voiced changed. It didn’t sound as Kairi anymore, but as the strange voice in the empty halls. “So, if you could choose now… if you had the chance to forfeit your role in this war, what would you do?”

“Does it matter? It’s been years ago. Besides… I’m not even sure when I accepted it to begin it. You asked about when the story began, but the truth is… I’m still not sure. Where do you think it started, then?”

“Well… this one answer is as good and true as any other, but we can go from here. How about… your first night in Traverse Town?”

And then he looked around, and he was 14 again. Looking at him, well known faces. Yuffie, Leon. They just stared at him, silent. Probably none of that was real either. And in his hands… the Keyblade. It looked bigger than he remembered, heavier.

“Again, why does it matter? It won’t change the past.” Sora was now staring at the well-lit ceiling, instead of the open blue sky of the islands. “It won’t change anything. Why does it matter?”

“It will change  _ for you _ . You, who thought you didn’t have a choice, now you have. What will you do with it?”

_ “This is so pointless.” _ Sora was getting impatient now. He was there to save Kairi, why was all that conversation gravitating around him, his choices, his past? Wasting precious time dwelling in memories and possibilities and versions of the future that would never come true. But now he was stuck in that place, right? In order to go on, he needed to finish whatever task or quest that voice gave him. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. It was for Kairi. It was all for her, it has always been.

So, if it was a world where his choices mattered, where he could simply say no… what would he do? He noticed, with a hint of surprise, that it wasn’t an answer as simple as he thought. It probably was, for his past self. More naive, overly excited for any adventure, seeking new places and new stories and new fights… he had no idea at that time. The Keyblade was heavy and the loneliness hurt him and he was worried about his friends and family and home… but what a fantastic adventure that would be! He could be scared, or sad, or angry, any of these reactions would be perfectly understandable and acceptable… but he wasn’t.

He was cheerful. Hopeful. He  _ chose _ to be hopeful instead.

“So this is what you were talking about...?” Sora muttered. “This… is the choice I had? The choice I made?”

“Is that so? You tell me.” The voice sounded smug, like it was finding the whole thing very amusing. “You could have refused, maybe. Gave in to fear, to exhaustion. But you didn’t. That counts for something, if you ask me. Do you regret what you chose back in that night?”

No.

No, he didn’t. He would never simply sit down and wait for someone to take the lead. And he would never give in to the fear and sorrow. He chose right.

“So, if you’d never give in to the fear… why are you so afraid right now?” Again, the voice sounded as Kairi, and he was back in the Islands. He didn’t have an answer to that, to what made him so scared. That paralyzing fear he felt was something entirely new. Almost as intense as the despair he felt when he saw his friends being taken away and destroyed one by one, but not quite like that. It was quieter, more constant, but still too painful to bear.

But he didn’t have a name for that feeling. All he knew was that it hurt.

“You know… she trusted you. She still does. Somewhere in this place, she’s waiting. Not because you’ll save her, but because she misses you. You’re her most important part just as much as she is yours.” her voice sounded sad, but gentle and kind. “She doesn’t want you to be sad. It doesn’t suit you. She wants you to be with her.”

“We both know it won’t happen”, he choked back a little. “We won’t have a happy ending. We’ll be lucky if we have a moment together before it all ends.”

“It doesn’t make it less tender. Or less important. You’ll have a moment with her, so live it to the fullest. Whether it lasts a second or a year, make it count. You promised, right? And you’re good at keeping promises.”

His promises were important. He kept them, for the most part.

Suddenly, it felt like someone had put a hand inside his pocket, but there was no one around. When he touched the pocket, he found a familiar shape there, one who made him smile. It was a small item, a lucky charm made from shells and rope.

“Of course. Your lucky charm, right? I have to bring it back to you.”

The real one had been returned years ago, of course. But still, it was a good memory, and something to cling to. Even if it wasn’t the real thing, it was a link to her, something that, he hoped, would point in her direction.

And then, a gust of wind, and the sound of a heavy object being put down behind him. The door was ready, to take him to the second jump. Sora hesitated for a second, before turning around and unlocking the door. He was still scared, still confused, that poisonous unnamed feeling still very strong in his heart. But she was waiting for him. And, once, he chose not to have fear. He would have to make that choice again, for all it was worth.

As he turned the knob, the sharp pain in his heart returned, stronger than before, lasting longer too. It took his breath away, and he had to wait a few minutes to recover. The more doors he opened, he thought, the worst the pain would get. Still, no matter how bad it turned… it wouldn’t stop him.

“To the second jump. Let’s see where it takes us now.”


End file.
